You are Powerful
Every human being on earth has every human trait on earth. Some expressed, some repressed. Therefore, we are all equally powerful in potential. But not everyone gets what they want in life because some people express what needs to be repressed and repressed what needs to be expressed. It’s confusing sometimes. Let me explain.
A short, balding man becomes CEO of a firm. He’s determined to prove something to the world and therefore expresses absolute determination and commitment. Working for him is a tall, friendly woman who feels intimidated by this rather aggressive tone of the CEO. She tells her therapist about him, “he’s just overcompensating and mean, rude, and sexist.”
What we just saw, is a story… her story. Now lets talk to him.
“I’ve got this amazing woman in my team, she’s tall and inspiring, it’s so great to have her on the team but omg, can she waste time, I’ve got a million things on my plate and she wants to dialogue about everything… I admit, I get a bit stressed around her.”
So, two stories about one thing… Lets try this another way…
Her “I really love the part of me that can knuckle down and get the tough jobs done by blocking out all the noise and just hammering it out.” Him, “There’s a part of me I love that’s so creative, sometimes I just need to sit and dialogue with someone to get those ideas out of my mind or I go mad.”
So, if he loved the qualities in him that are reflected by her, and she loved the qualities in her that are reflected in him… then the world would be a better place, right? No stress, just acceptance and appreciation here.
So, negative emotions are not always so negative. They are certainly unproductive but they are also road signs to the parts of us we don’t love. If something pisses you off about life, someone or something, or you, it’s a sign… you got growth to do.
The ability to realise, readily accept, as well as successfully control feelings in oneself (and sometimes others) is known as the emotion management skill. Very simply, emotion management skills refer to the ability to master your own emotions.
For developing emotion management skills, being open to one’s thoughts and feelings is not enough. You must have complete authority over changing your thoughts and feelings that are generated whenever your values are touched by the actions of a person or an event. This is important because the change in your thoughts and feelings is what helps change your emotions, preventing from reactive outbursts.
a skill is something you can do on demand, under pressure…Chris Walker
Why is emotion management important to Apply Under Pressure
Imagine yourself in one of those situations where you have been working hard for weeks to find out that project has been cancelled, or when you are given plenty of new assignments while you’re already swamped with work, or the most common one where a customer unduly shouts at you and insults you publicly. Stressful situations such as these as well as some others that may include department changes and staff layoffs etc. are way too common in the workplace.
The real question is, how do you react to such stressful situations? Could reactions like shouting back at the customer, hiding in a corner feeling sorry for oneself, or distracting oneself by playing games or chatting around help in climbing up the career ladder? The answer is, of course, a big NO!
Such behaviors tend to undermine your professional reputation as well as your work efficiency and productivity. Hence, emotion management is an important skill for a successful career. It helps you manage your reactions, by underplaying one emotion when not appropriate and overemphasizing another one when you feel the job cannot be done without it.
How to improve emotion management skills
The following stop, drop and process approach is a great help in improving emotion management skills:
- Stop. This may be the most difficult of all three steps because you need a very strong will power. The next time your emotions are so strong that you feel hijacked by them and feel a strong urge to take an action that you may regret later on, stop right there and think! Start looking for cues and the thoughts and feelings that have aggravated that behavior.
- Drop. Now that you are through with the most difficult part, engage yourself in an activity that will help you calm down. Without dropping the intensity of your emotions you may never be able to think clearly and rationally.
- Process. Now you’ll be in a better position to think about it all and come up with an appropriate reaction. First of all, identify the emotions you are feeling. It is better to update you ‘emotions-vocabulary’ for this purpose. Once you have identified what precisely it is that you’re feeling, think about its source and find out why you are feeling that way. Once you have the answers to both these questions right in front of you, you are the better judge of which is the best way to proceed, bearing in mind your ultimate goals as well as personal values.
If you don’t have the password it’s because you are not a coached client.