Critics get paid for it. Nobody likes them. In movies they’re everyone’s nightmare, but they’re even worse at home and at work.
Criticising is so easy. We can all so what’s wrong and why when shit happens. But do we need to do it?
- Nobody beats us up more than we do to ourselves. So if we don’t beat people up (criticise) be confident they’re going to do a better job than you.
- People don’t change from being criticised. It is a myth that in corporate coaching and team development that there’s a benefit in pointing out people’s weakness’. It’s a complete misdirection of energy.
- 99% of what people do is great. They breathe, dress, arrive, shower, shave, (legs or face) and in general do millions of things to make their attendance good. So why not compliment the 99%. People do become as we treat them.
- Gratitude in life is not just targeted at the good news. Gratitude for the things that aren’t right is equally if not more important to inspire the giver and receiver. Try being thankful for what isn’t “right.” It’s easier to move on too.
- Romance… if we think our partner really, really, really wants to be criticised for what they are already being self critical about then we are so up in our head we might soon meet Jack at the top of the bean stalk. A dumb step criticising your partner or kids.
- Leadership … fear runs most companies and so, critical leaders abound. But the fuck you finger is being raised more and more and those neanderthal leaders will soon find themselves staring at a mirror in the bathroom at home asking themselves “what happened?” Good leadership is not critical.
- Health… the biggest impact that criticism has is on the critic. But it also can be a burden and a real killjoy for the receiver. Nobody gains from it in the short to medium term.
So, look for what’s going great in yourself and others. Your bowels are working and that in itself is a miracle. Maybe the rest is a bonus.