Lets say I have a really buggered up knee. It plays up with me when I’m walking so, I try to walk less but at the same time, I’m trying to heal the knee.
I might walk less but I love walking and so I’ve got a dilemma haven’t I?
I can give up some of my enjoyment to protect my knee or heal my knee and go walking more.
Obviously in an ideal world I’d have a knee replacement and walk as much as I want but not everything gets solved by having a knee replacement.
Ask those who have one.
The consequences of a knee replacement are significant. Arthritis, hip problems, the other knee, ankle pain, lower back pain and mental depression are counted as some of the potential side effects.
So, at the end of the day, whatever I do to sort that knee out can have consequences. It might impact my bank account, my work, my focus, my diet … it’s not so simple as to just fix the problem. Many things need to change to make the possibility of walking good.
So, lets say I fix my knee and start walking again… woo hoo. The next thing is someone says “would you love to walk on this hill?” and as I take up that challenge my knee starts to ache a bit because, well I want to live life to the fullest and that hill is in Mexico and so, I take it to the next level.
Has the same problem come back? Yes it has. Is the same problem a sign that my fix didn’t work or my fix did work? Yes, the new problem is because I can walk further than before and so the new problem is a sign that I’ve improved. It’s the same pain but a different level of challenge.
Every human being on earth has a button inside. It comes from either too much or too little of something when we were kids. That too much or too little of something comes from parents who had their own fears and so, in a sense, we inherited the fears of our parents.
If they gave us too much it’s because they feared we’d have too little. And if they gave us too little it was because they feared we’d have too much. It’s a shitty transference. It can be quite smothering and or it can be quite violent. Either way, their fears become our buttons. And our buttons become our reactions. So, in a way, we teach our parents to love what they fear because whatever they do, in excess or deficiency, we do the opposite.
So, lets now talk about you.
We all have buttons. One button in fact. Whenever we walk a longer hill, or rise to a new level of life, the button can be pushed again. This is called frustra. We rise, “the proverbial knee” hurts, and we have to take the next leap of faith to sort that same problem that has surfaced 100 times before, once again.
You’ll always have the same button your whole life. When it gets pushed, you’ll feel like crap. Every time you grow you’ll hit that frustra, the button, and the only things you can change are:
- How long you take to get through it
- How committed you are to embrace that same “self fear”
- How much your behaviour is governed by your parents fears (still)
Imagine a tree. The growth rings are the frustra. If the tree could talk it’d be saying “oh no, not this shit again” as it dumped one layer of bark in preparation for the next. It’s the same old winter, same old bark, same old button, just at a bigger diameter.