To think more clearly, to solve problems more permanently, to overcome protracted periods of distraction we must get past blame. It really is distracting and disempowering.
If we are nature people we believe that there is an order in what we call chaos. We don’t seek to change ourselves or our circumstances, but to explore, as a brave adventurer would have, a pioneer would have, to find the beauty in it. As a nature person instead of blame we might ask any one of these questions when faced with a depression or frustration:
- What is the gift of this and where is it guiding me to love?
- What is the beauty I am not seeing in this situation that causes me sadness?
- How is this situation I am in a blessing?
- Given that there is no punishment in the language of nature why am I here?
- That nature destroys anything that does not fulfill its purpose, and that the purpose of all life is to evolve, am I holding onto something that I need to love instead?
- Given that nature birthed and designed this situation in me, and others, what is the perfection – the divine experience of just staying right here in this feeling?
- Am I using substitutes to avoid something in my life that nature has gifted me and are those substitute appetites causing the discomfort to increase in magnitude?
For me, this final question is the most demanding. It is the truest insight about human pain and suffering which are words that do not exist in nature. Nature has no pain or suffering. These are human emotional descriptions that are used to put what nature calls the balance of support, challenge, into some sort of religious context of punishment or crime.
These four substitutes can be summarised as:
- Food and substance (obesity, addictions, anorexia, alcohol dependance)
- Greed and control (obsession with money, rules, jealousy, envy, depression)
- Sex and sexuality (affairs, abuse, addiction, flirtation, narcisism, ego)
- Spirituality and superiority (meditation, separation, judgement, fear)
In their own right each substitute can be seen as a part of daily life, in excess a substitute proves emotional fun and relief. But when we are avoiding by blaming, we hitch our wagon to one if not all four for the purpose of dealing with or avoiding nature’s challenge. Hence, the downside of substitutes is that we remain blinded to the gift of growth, our real purpose, and therefore, things get worse.