You want to live inspired and that means you’ll definitely want an inspiring relationship.
- There are different levels at which you can fall in love. If you’ve been single for 7 years, 7 months, 7 days, 7 hours and 7 seconds, chances are that the love you feel might be a tad, needy. On the other hand, if you’ve just finished a relationship and there’s some blow back pain, then the chances are there’ll be some rebound compensation and that’s not always so reliable. My suggestion would be to NOT call those feelings love. Love and neediness are two different experiences.
- In the poorest places on earth, where people have no jobs and the streets are dirtiest in spite of having the most spare time, sex is maximum. What does this tell you? Well it means that the more physicality a relationship is based on the less inspired either both or one of the entrants is. It means people with the lowest self-worth most often physically compensate for it. It means that no matter how much money or yoga classes a person has, they can still be mentally and spiritually in poverty (uninspired) if their appetite for the physical stuff seems insatiable at the start, it will soon dry up.
- Business people are the worst partners. What makes a person spectacular at business and work is the complete opposite to what makes an inspiring partner and lover so, you might have to teach them how. I mean, draw lines in the sand like: take your muddy boots off after work, which means “learn how to work inspired and that compartmentalisation which works at work, won’t work at home. Another one might be improvement strategy. A business guru will look for ways to improve everything about their work and business, but if they don’t shift gear and get into appreciation mode when they get home, it’s going to feel like you are never really loved. It’s going to take a few lines in the sand to get this sorted.
- Holidays are bull shit. When a person acts like a nut, arriving home like they’ve had a frontal lobotomy, rude, grumpy and, well you know what a stressed out person looks like don’t you, and they do this for a few weeks, the first thing they’ll start talking about is “a holiday to make it up to the family or you.” That’s like taking vitamin pills for health after eating bread rolls covered in margarine for lunch all year. That make up holiday is a way of justifying uninspiring, ignorant, incompetent and somewhat abusive behaviour with an “I’ll make it up to you.” Never buy into it. Tell them to stick their fancy holiday up their clacker. The main reason they want it is because they are burning out, and really, do you want 3 months of uninspired relationship balanced by 2 weeks of uninspired holiday? Is that what you signed up for?
- If your partner starts getting fat, blame yourself not them. They are just trying to do the nurturing to themselves that you promised to do but are now too self absorbed in your work to do. Yes, you’ll say “I don’t stick food in their mouth” and you’re right, but you do promise to nurture and snuggle and be affirmative, and encouraging on the honeymoon and then you decide to hand them back that responsibility one day because you don’t think you’re getting a fair deal. But believe me when I say, the only reason you think you’re not getting a fair deal is because you’ve become more successful and you’re up yourself. Back off the self righteousness, take the blame for their fat, not everyone is on an emotional winning streak.It’s about you becoming uninspiring and they love you but you don’t. It’s time to look in the mirror. (or see me)
- Inspiration is silence. So try slow silent walks. Try putting a brick through the TV screen. Try sitting in the same room while you read. Try not reading. Try not listening to Beethoven’s 200th symphony or Glue Your Face’s new punk album. Try not drinking alcohol for a month or a year. Even go to bed early without the intent to relieve stress as quickly as possible and fall asleep either before or after it.
There are hundreds of ways to bring inspiration into your relationship and keep it there. I’ll jot down a few more on the blog soon. In the meantime I look forward to your comments below.