4. The couple who grow together stay together. 100% of all relationship struggles that I have witnessed in 35 years of coaching and mentoring people through some of the most dramatic and cataclysmic personal circumstances I’ve been able to imagine have been triggered by the lack of growth on either one or both individuals in a relationship. This will become a more prevalent problem in the future as self obsession (labelled as yoga, meditation and well-being) starts to generate a lack of willingness on a persons nature to forego gratification in the interests of long-term sustainable relationships. Growth means discomfort. When people feel discomfort the natural instinct is to shrink as a turtle would bring its head inside its shell. The way we shrink is to seek gratification in the form of food, alcohol, new job, different partner or a yoga class. It’s understandable and it’s perfectly correct that we would do this but the purpose of all human existence on this planet is growth which means expansion which in turn means some discomfort. Ideally, we take ourselves out of circulation, put ourselves in retreat, create discomfort, do a vision quest, come back into the real world and know that it’s time to grow. Simply it’s about setting the bar higher. The problem currently is that our organisations are doing a great job of raising the bar on our career because they threaten us with rise or leave. But who is doing that for us in the other six areas of life? This is why I believe personal development under the specific focus of a total life balance coach is a wise investment for a personal healthy relationship.