It’s not in my nature to make things sound simplistic. But I would love to make things sound simple. Stress is not healthy and all stress is caused by thinking. So if you can change your thinking you can change your stress. I would like to suggest a few very easy exercises that can make your stress go away and you’re thinking healthier.
First and foremost, when things aren’t the way you want them, and you can’t change it (because it’s in the past) the best thing you can do is work out how you can want it. You might say I wish that didn’t happen, or I wish it happened differently, but that set up in you anxiety and stress, so the healthiest sort is I’m glad it happened and I’m glad it happened the way it happened because…
Second, look for balance. All emotion is one-sided thinking. And in the entire universe there is nothing that has one side alone. Even our thinking when it is one-sided is completely delusional and highly emotional. When we see bad in something it’s because we can’t see the good as well. When we see the good in something it because we can’t see the bad as well.
Third, break convention. Not everybody thinks that sadness is an appropriate emotion when somebody else is sad. When somebody else is happy we are happy. When somebody stressed therefore we often stress about this stress. But that’s not necessarily the healthiest response when we are around people whose emotions will fluctuate based on their perception of reality. it is far wiser to find an emotional space that is independent of other people. The way to do this is what we call the helicopter process. When others are in an emotional up or down see if you can rise above it.
Finally, have a vision. When you have the option of feeling happy or sad, feeling elated or depressed, feeling pleasure or pain those things are emotions and they will have a counter effect. For example a happy moment at work may not be counterbalanced at work but me turning to be a sad moment at home. Just try it, if you come home from work full of yourself thinking you’ve just conquered Mount Everest, see how your partner behaves towards you! The bottom line will be that they will bring you down and this is what nature intended. So instead of going up and down with emotion have a vision and ask yourself each day and my fulfilling my vision?
Putting the heart and soul into life is an argument between emotion (seeking pleasure avoiding pain) and vision of the long-term. It’s been demonstrated through research that the ability to delay gratification is one of the most telling factors in the success of an individual. Look up on Google “the marshmallow experiment.”
Live with spirit,
I can help you with all of the above in a very short session online or in person: